Hi guys! I was on Instagram (as usual), and I saw a post from my favorite actor and celebrity Will Smith, and he posted a video where he was talking about a major issue among teenagers, especially, which is self esteem and self confidence. One specific example he used to analyse the issue of self esteem and self confidence that struck me the most in the whole video was that he said: self esteem is like looking into a busted defiled mirror and then you’re trying to make your body look amazing in front of this busted mirror. I love this analogy because this means that a lot of us (I mentioned us because i’m also a part of this struggle) are trying to fit into what society has named it as the ‘perfect body’ This is wrong because we’re all created differently and uniquely and we should be confident in our own skin. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t work on eating moderately or living a healthy lifestyle as the case may be. This means that you should learn to accept where and who you are because no one is perfect.
What is self esteem and self confidence and why we need them
As simple as it sounds, this is a very difficult task (practicing self confidence and self esteem) we need to gradually work on, and that is why i’m writing this today because I would be pleased for us to walk through this journey together, so that we can all become the confident folks we’ve always dreamed to be. Self confidence, in my own words, is being able to feel comfortable with yourself in formal and informal situations. High self esteem is being able to place yourself high, and valuing yourself. That is, not going below your standards. Without possessing self confidence and high self esteem, we would not achieve some of the goals we wish to achieve in life. For instance, if you are aspiring to be a public speaker, you need high self esteem to tell yourself that you can do it all, and you have the courage to speak in front of such a large crowd, and you need self confidence to speak in front of that large crowd without messing up. you also need self confidence and high self esteem to strive in work places. You need them to make friends and interact with people.
How to gain self confidence and high self esteem
I have always had insecurities. I have had problems with my pimples, excema, big boobs (yes, big boobs), and scanty hair, but everyday I continue to try to tell myself that I am perfect in my flaws and that’s why i’m Kofo because no one can be like me but myself. This can be very difficult because you have to still stare at those insecurities day after day. This is the more reason why we need to learn to live with these insecurities. I have tried to follow these rules in learning to accept myself:
- Self acceptance: learn to accept yourself for who you are, and that you would get better because you’re just going through a phase.
- Other people have insecurities and they are dealing with it, so you too can deal with it.
- See the beauty in your flaws: the fact that you have flaws and you’re rocking those flaws means that you still look beautiful with and without those flaws
- People have worse than you do
- Be grateful for life: when you’re grateful for life, you won’t have the chance to think about whatever flaws you have
- Make an affirmative statement: affirmative statements unconsciously place positive thoughts about yourself in your mind therefore developing self confidence, high self esteem, and self acceptance.
- Do things that would take your mind off focusing on your insecurities
- Don’t spend too much time on social media: this is very important because you tend to see”perfect life” profiles on social media which you would want to avoid
- Use your insecurities as a platform to impact others’ lives: your main focus should be your long term goals, and how you would want to impact others’ lives through sharing struggles you have gone through in life including your insecurities
- And lastly, set your standards!
Tip
According to Marilyn Monroe, wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. This just simply means that God has given every one of us unique qualities, and trying to acquire another person’s, means abandoning our true selves. At the end of the day, believe in yourself, accept yourself for who you are, and don’t go below your standards! That defines you!
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